Zaewen

Feminist gaming blog with a heaping dash of science and politics

Are all women bitches? Theory of a Deadman says yes, is misogynist as all get out.

I hold no pretenses about being a music aficionado, I really don’t, but I do know what I like and, conversely, I know what I don’t like. And I really, really hate Theory of a Deadman’s new single “The Bitch Came Back” (no, I’m not linking to it and giving them free page views). I was really hoping that it would not make it big, that it would be offensive enough that radio stations would either not be able to play it because of the incessant use of the word bitch or (heh, yea, right) they had the good sense not to put such a misogynistic piece of shit song on their rotation. Go figure, I was wrong, who would’ve guessed? They must’ve missed the memo about us living in a post-feminism society, women are totes equal and there are never popular songs played constantly on the radio spreading toxic messages about how women are all contemptible bitches that are barely worthy of the hate the singers so gleefully heap upon them.

The lyrics:

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn’t stay away
Don’t you know the bitch came back?

Oh look how clever, he substituted bitch for cat, equating women with animals in not just one, but two not-so-creatively dehumanizing ways. Lovely.

I like her so much better when she’s down on her knees
Cause when she’s in my face that’s when I’m starting to see
That all my friends will laugh at thinking that we belong
Well she’s so fuckin’ stupid that she’s singing along

Yes, women need to be on their knees, servile and possibly handing out free blowjobs, cause standing as your equal is far too presumptuous for a bitch. And we can’t forget how it might make all your non-bitch friends (i.e. manly men) laugh at how she’s emasculating you with her want for equalness. Oh look, now the dumb bitch is so stupid she’s singing along to this ode of hate.

The trouble with girls is they’re all the same
Forget the diamonds and pearls they just want a ring
Before you know it you’re like a dog on a leash
Well you can try and change the world but you won’t change me

And now we find out that ALL, yes ALL, women (whoops, girls, sorry) are the same, they’re all dumb bitches that belong on their knees. Also, that all they want is to tie you down in marriage and treat you like a dog, cause ya know being treated like a dog bitch is so not fun. Misogynist thy name is hypocrite. Then we get what looks like a snipe at feminism. How presumptuous of these damn bitches, wanting equality and shit. Fear not, this misogynist PoS steadfastly refuses to treat women like anything other than contemptible subhumans.

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn’t stay away
Don’t you know the bitch came back?

You know the usual definition of goner? Someone who is about to or has died? Yea, that’s a not so subtle hint of violence. Just what this song needed!

There she goes again just always breaking my balls
No matter what I do somehow it’s always my fault
She says I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone
But that’s the only frickin’ way she’ll leave me alone

Damn that ballbusting bitch, she must’ve gotten a knee cramp again and stood up. Now he’s complaining about how things are always his fault. This couldn’t have anything to with his shitty attitude towards women bitches, could it? And look at that, he’s avoiding her and now she’s suddenly irrational. Bitches be crazy amirite? Hysterical really, just harpies waiting for an excuse to tear into a man.

The trouble with girls is is never enough
They love to complain and they never shut up
They like to tell you the way it ought to be
Go on and tell the world but just don’t tell me

Oh, look, women girls bitches are all the same again. And they can never get enough with the complaining. Always harping, screeching even, on about bullshit like “You don’t treat me with respect” or “Why are you so verbally abusive towards me?”. Then he snipes at feminism again, but don’t worry these bitches are delusional (heh, aren’t they always?) if they think he’ll change.

The bitch came back the very next day
Oh, the bitch came back, I thought she was a goner
But, the bitch came back, she couldn’t stay away
Don’t you know the bitch came back?

It ain’t a joke when I say I wanna throw you out
(I really mean it, I really mean it)
Well look who’s laughing now!

Just toss them bitches out like garbage. More violence, lovely, and he wants us to know that this ain’t a joke. He is dead serious, he really means it, all women are bitches. And he’s going to laugh his ass off as he rakes in money for being a misogynist asshat.

Yea, this song is a charmer. Makes me sick to my stomach every time I hear it. Such an upbeat tune constantly hammering home the message that I, being a woman and thusly a bitch by his standards, am so contemptible, so irrational and hate-able, so stupid and vapid, so inherently less than just because I’m a woman. Not to mention this song obviously has a lot of domestic violence themes, what with the verbal abuse, the subtle hints of physical violence (goner, throw you out), and the apparent cycle of abuse taking up the entire narrative of the song (him being an abusive ass in the verses and then her, the bitch, coming back anyways during the chorus).

I hate this song. I can’t wait for it to get off the radio.

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56 responses to “Are all women bitches? Theory of a Deadman says yes, is misogynist as all get out.

  1. Ladebug September 21, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    This is the problem that is happening more and more in today’s music. “They” take some music with a catchy beat – good sound and then put in this kinda of crap lyrics to it (not that I’ve listened to this particular song but there are those like this out there). Kids, impressionable young folks who are listening at first to the music get sucked into the lyrics.

    No, I don’ believe for a minute that listening to one song will make you want to beat the crap out of someone, but it does de-senitize you to someone getting beat – so when a young girl is attacked outside of her school durning a school dance, her fellow students don’t even blink an eye at the incident. You can’t blame it on one song, one game but an accumulative effect. Much like eating to many twinkies. Eating one will not make you overweight. So when you look in the mirror and discover that you have become a bit thicker around the middle, you can’t say that it was the 1st one that caused or the 400th one. But the fact still remains, you’ve gotten fat. It was the accumulation of eating all 400 that caused the spare tire.

    Listen to the words of a song, the message is important. I listen to to Classic Country, classic rock – heavy metal – pop – R&B – just about anything but rap and even some of the early rap was good – fun. Even good old Classic Country with it twangy sound has songs that I find disturbing – not so much as the one that Z has brought to light here but still distrubing – so I don’t listen to them. If the artist has to many of them I don’t listen to the artist. I’m just one person but my opinion does count.

    Words are a powerful tool – for good or ill – heal or hurt.

    • Zaewen September 21, 2011 at 11:45 pm

      Right, it’s kinda like I said in one of my earlier posts (TW on that link), it’s not that a one-off or even multiple exposure to these misogynistic (or any other kind of bigotry) messages will turn a perfectly nice person into a seething he-man-woman-hater, but it does reinforce and perpetuate the 10,000 billion other messages that we internalize that come at us from every corner of our society saying that these views are ok, that it’s normal to think of women this way. And that’s whats not ok, that’s where the problem lies. Especially when the message is so full of such unabashed and bald faced misogyny, like this song is.

  2. Tami Baribeau September 21, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    This does not seem like a real song that can possibly really exist. Argh.

    • Zaewen September 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm

      Sadly it is very much a real thing in the world.

      To add insult to injury, after writing this post, I’ve got the chorus stuck in my head and its annoyin as hell lol. Damn this song’s catchy tune *shakefist*

  3. Weizi September 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Are you sure? Is such a messed up song even allowed in public media? I am in disblief. However, as for my impression to the song. There is an old chinese saying “One who stays near vermilion gets stained red,and one who stays near ink gets stained black” meaning, one is affected by his/her environment. Moreover, you are only as good as the people you choose to associate with. Even if his girlfriend or wife is as terrible as he describes. It would only mean that he is also a terrible person, because good perople attracts good people while bad people attracts bad people. Also, what is wrong with this guy. Nobody likes nobody to be in anyone’s face, but why would you want someone on their knee? What makes you think you are better? I think such sexism wouldn’t be allowed in public media.

    • Zaewen September 25, 2011 at 9:12 pm

      Sadly, it is in the public media. It’s been playing on my usual rock station. I’ve started avoiding the station now actually cause that song just makes me ill to my stomach.

      According to some music reviewers, Theory of Deadman’s new album tries to have it both ways, half the songs are hard-core dude rock about being manly-men that don’t need bitches in their lives (to paraphrase). The other half are syrupy power ballads about bad boys turned good husbands aimed at the women in their audience.

      • jakesask December 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm

        I would say that this band should be able to perform both the “hard-core dude rock” songs and the “syrupy power ballads” if they want to, and it shouldn’t necessarily be seen as a manipulation of their audience. Men are entitled to the full range of human emotions, aren’t they?

        Honestly, those “hard-core dude rock” songs tend to be really popular with women (internalized misogyny and all that) and they are often the songs that win new female fans. So I’m not sure the love songs would be necessary to increase the fan base.

  4. Andie September 26, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Why am I not surprised to hear, considering how influenced TOAD is by Nickelback, one of the more mysogynist douchebag bands out there. Songs like this are why I stopped listening to rock radio as well.

    The one line that caught me was “Well she’s so fuckin’ stupid that she’s singing along” because it reminded me when Buckcherry came out with “Crazy Bitch” (another song that makes my teeth itch).. so many people (including many women) LOVED that song and I couldn’t understand why… and they would sing along to it and I’d just want to shake my head and scream “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING??”

    (I won’t even get into my annoyance at co-opting a beloved National Film Board video)

  5. Demos October 16, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    I was pretty shocked that this was considered okay for radio play, and yet the words “fuck”, “shit”, etc. (regardless of context) are still censored. I don’t ordinarily listen to the radio, and when I first heard this I thought it must be some tongue-in-cheek message, but it’s really just pure back slapping, roofie slipping misogynistic trash.
    I think this is the first song I’ve actually been offended by (granted, I don’t listen to much pop music), and I can’t believe anyone would allow this to play on their radio station and maintain a good conscience.

  6. Jessica Wolfe October 27, 2011 at 6:27 am

    I hate to play such a card, but as a woman, I can find nothing wrong with this song. It is clear to me that they are not talking about all women, just ones that act like bitches, and I enjoy it actually. Maybe the reason you find it so offensive is it strikes a grain of truth with you? That you are, in fact, the kind of “bitch” that Theory of a Deadman is singing about?

    • Zaewen October 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

      Taste in music is obviously quite subjective, as is tolerance for abject misogyny. I’m glad you can listen and sing along to this song, it is quite catchy and has a good beat to it after all, and you’re right the song does strike a grain of truth for me. Except that grain of truth is not that I am a ‘bitch’ like the song describes. Its the truth that there are misogynistic men (and women) out there who will latch on to any reason at all to label any and all women bitches, be it because they don’t happen to like a particular song or because they don’t quite fit someone’s particular ideal of what femininity should be. So before you cast your lot with ToaD and start slinging around the bitch word on their behalf at people who disagree with this song, just remember that according to them “girls are all the same” and that they find it hilarious that these bitches, that all women are because all women are the same, are “fucking stupid” enough to be “singing along”.

      (As an aside, your comment does show that female-fan interaction with this song is a great parable of the ways that internalized misogyny and approval seeking from the patriarchy are always met with disdain and backhanded ‘compliments’ from misogynists)

    • Brenda July 28, 2012 at 6:41 am

      I see you understand that there are two kinds of women as well. The real ones who act like women and the bitches who couldn’t get a clue. I personally know a woman who acts like the bitch in the song and this song truly describes her to a tee. There are good and bad of everything including women. Maybe if women acted like women (should act), guys wouldn’t be able to write songs like this. Don’t blame them for what women have done to themselves. Act like a bitch, expect to be treated like a bitch. (And yes, I am a woman and no, I don’t get treated like a bitch. Treat your man with respect and you get respect in return. Duh!)

      • Brenda July 28, 2012 at 6:57 am

        Oh and if you don’t like the song, don’t listen to it. My daughters and I love it. We know the difference between a bitch and a woman so we have no problem with it. It’s poking fun at women who act badly. What’s wrong with that? Feminists poke fun at men who act badly so let the men have their turn. For crying out loud, get your panties out of a bunch and quit whining.

    • Bandgirl November 14, 2012 at 11:24 pm

      Thank you for being the one to say that.

  7. George November 8, 2011 at 9:55 am

    @Jessica: “The bitch is so stupid that she’s singing along.” That’s you. Feel good about it now?

  8. InternetSuperHero November 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    only feminist whores hate this song…just saying.

  9. pyrodaemon December 11, 2011 at 11:41 am

    If it makes you feel any better… I’m a guy, and a musician, and this song really pissed me off, too. For exactly every reason you mentioned.

    I can’t add much to your post about this song other than to say that most good ‘ole boy rock gives me this vibe in a general sense; Nikelback, anyone? Though, to Nikelback’s credit, “The Bitch Came Back” takes it to a whole new level… maybe even Chad Kroeger is disgusted by this (we can hope), and the band he helped unleash upon the world.

    +1 on this post, for sure.

    • pyrodaemon December 11, 2011 at 11:51 am

      It was pointed out to me that “Nickelback” actually keeps the ‘c’ in their name. My apologies.

  10. Jess December 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    These songs annoy because the singer is bitching just as much or (more as) as this woman he apparently hates so much. When I heard this on the radio I thought he was singing about trying to kill his girlfriend because of the “Thought she was a goner” line. Still sounds like it’s about an abusive relationship to me. Either way, I’ve always hated this band because all they do is whine. You’re a rich musician! Either find another girl who you actually like or shut up and deal with it.

  11. jakesask December 26, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    It doesn’t change anything you’ve commented on, but you (and your lyrics source) have the lyrics wrong in a couple spots:

    In your second quote, it should be:
    “That all my friends are right for thinking that we’d be wrong
    Well, she’s so fucking stupid bet she’s singing along”

    And in your sixth quote:
    “The trouble with girls is it’s never enough”

  12. jakesask December 26, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I fully understand why you are offended at the name-calling and inappropriate characterizations of *all* women in this song, but I think that claiming abuse in the relationship is stretching it.

    I’m pretty sure that neither Tyler Connolly (lead singer and lyricist) nor any of the other men in this band would ever be advocating for intimate partner violence of any kind, let alone murder. I’ve been a fan of Theory of a Deadman for 10 years and I’ve not seen any evidence of this kind of violent or hateful attitude. According to the lead singer, “Bitch Came Back” was written regarding the breakup of his marriage. By “goner” he meant that his wife left, and then she came back and tried to get back together with him. No murderous impulses there.

    The objective of much art is to portray themes that are common to the human experience. Most Theory of a Deadman songs are written so that people can identify with them; many people (both male and female) have had an experience or relationship that this song describes. You’re right, it’s not fair to say that “girls are all the same,” but haven’t most people, at some time, had the feeling that their gender-of-interest is totally awful, right down to its very last member? Tyler Connolly doesn’t hate all women. He doesn’t even hate the woman this song is about. But he can rant for a bit if he wants to, just like all of us sometimes do. And lots of people will hear this song and totally identify with it, and appreciate the resonance.

    I know this is slippery territory, and that negative language and stereotypical pop culture representations of women eat away at us, and at our society. The “down on her knees” image is sooo iconic in hard rock, and it makes me mad every time I hear it. I know that there is insulting commentary in “Bitch Came Back,” and I definitely think the song is fair game for criticism, but I think you’ve made the band out to be much more ugly and violent than it is. I think perhaps you’ve misinterpreted anger as hate.

    • Peter Coffin January 26, 2012 at 5:16 am

      I am not trying to sound argumentative, but you are in denial. A decade-long fan would be – “how could *my* band act like this?” Yes, he’s ranting about a relationship but his anger reveals some things about him. In his anger, he is quick to blame everyone (literally all women) and believes he has committed no wrong. So he’s some kind of pariah while all women are stupid bitches who should be sucking his dick.

      Look, I’m not an idiot. I get the feeling you aren’t either as your defense is borderline apologetic. You know what this song is and you know who it’s playing to: the good-ol’-boy “make me a sandwich” faux-jokers. “It’s not meant to be offensive!” Well, it is. It’s utter trash.

      I’m not one to say “you can’t say something” and I think they have the freedom to be misogynist pricks while you have the freedom to buy whatever defense is sold. But I have the freedom to point out that someone is a total asshole for agreeing with them or (in your case) a sheep-like enabler for not calling this song what it is: anti-equal rights.

  13. Robert Paulson January 1, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    lol, let the mad run through you
    its just a song, chill out, there are songs talking bad about guys too and i’m not all pissy about them

    • Ladebug January 1, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      Apparently you just don’t get it. It’s not just about one extremely offensive song. It’s about the way people treat one another – in person or via a song. One person suggested that the song was about the songwriter’s ex and that he held no ill will towards her. Funny, I didn’t get that from the song and I’ve listened to a fair amount of songs in my day. What do you think an impressionable young person – male or female – doesn’t matter – would take away from this?

      A while back an NBA player was accused of not living up to an expected standard as a role model for the youth in this country. Why is there no such standard for musicians and other entertainers? When did it become ok to call women such a name? When did it become ok to write such negative stuff about either sex?

      No, I’m not advocating some sort of mandate for songs to be all sunshine and roses. But you can make your point about your topic without the calling 1/2 the population such a derogatory term.

      This sort of song is just the tip of the iceberg to what is wrong in today’s society. Folks not stepping forward and saying enough is enough – we don’t want to have this kind of message being played for either ourselves or our youth.

    • shavell February 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

      I totally agree with you really it is just a song. Do not take it to offence and you all may like it.

  14. shavell February 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    I think it is a good song and you should all not take it so personally , its not like they are singing about you! I just think it is a catchy song that they knew people would like? theres nothing wrong with it, I am a bitch for sure ,but I do not take the song personally if you do then maybe you need to change some things in your life so that you do not think he is singin for you!

    • Ladebug February 4, 2012 at 7:27 am

      Seriously, that’s your response! He degrades women as a whole and it’s no big deal. We are all “bitches” anyway so why not. If the guy had been degrading Africans / Hispanics/ or any other minority group – hell even freaking whales – then OH HELL NO – you can’t say that about {insert what ever other minority group}, but it it’s women not a problem. We are after all “bitches and should be down on our knees”. Well it’s thinking like that that has kept women “barefoot and pregnant”. If you don’t stand up for yourself then who will.

      If a man demands respect, he is thought of as being assertive; so why is a woman a bitch is she demands respect. It’s a double standard that has existed throughout the ages and it’s thinking like that has to stop in both men and especially women.

      Come on Sisters – stand up for yourself. Don’t let some moronic man slander women as a whole and get away with it. Listen to what you are telling the next generation of women – it’s ok to let some guy verbally degrade you and toss you aside like a piece of garbage cause you are after all less than a man. That is nothing more than horse-shit!

      Women need to stand up and not take being called bitches by anyone – men or ignorant women who think it’s ok to wear that lable.

  15. shavell February 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    You must have some serious issues to take this SONG so personally!! And I am pretty sure people sing about blacks and other races all the time. Its kinda rediculous for you to tell me to stand up for myself when that is what I am doing. I t is a song nothing more and have you ever seen the video it is really about some crazy stalker bitch. If you yourself did not like the song then you wouldnt have taken the time to know every verse. I think that you should let it go they are just trying to make money on a song they knew would sell and I for sure bet it does. Trust me my daughter will always stand up for herself if that means being a bitch then ok I guess she can be. A man does deserve respect as much as a woman for sure but both have to gain respect and be respectful! and you are only wearing that label if you give that label!

    • Zaewen February 5, 2012 at 6:23 pm

      The point of this post was to point out that ToaD was profiting off of and contributing to cultural misogyny. That’s the only way a song that literally says all women are the same and thusly equates all women with ball-busting, gold-digging bitches that need to be on their knees (and with mentally unstable hysterics in the music video) could be so popular. It’s also that same cultural misogyny that would tell your daughter she’s a bitch for standing up for herself or really for doing anything other than being a doormat.

    • Ladebug February 5, 2012 at 6:25 pm

      @Shavell – Really, I couldn’t care less about this song in particular or even the band that sings it. It’s the message that it sends out to our youth that has me concerned and frankly a bit on the outraged side.

      You tell me that your daughter will always stand up for herself. But if it’s “ok” to be called a bitch, then doesn’t is stand to reason that she isn’t standing up for herself. A woman who is assertive and sure of herself is not a bitch but in our society she is often thought that way or even worse. Why is it that in our society it is OK to call 50% of the population this, years ago someone who was thought to be cool and edgy said it for some laughs, and folks just let it go. So others followed suit. No, this moronic band is not the first to use this language to vent his outrage at a love gone wrong. His is possibly amoung the first to make it to main-stream music, though.

      To let someone – anyone – call you a bitch is a slam to yourself esteem and ego. Should it happen only one time you may not feel it but if it’s said enough times, you’re going start believing what is being said and those around you will as well.

      It’s not one song that causes the world to stop respecting women as a whole. It’s the accumulation of the songs / stories and other material that is pushed in front of us day in and day out that takes away a little piece of our self-respect. So when some band that is “cool” and the latest “fab” calles ALL women bitches. A good many of the women think that that is ok. But let me tell you, it’s not ok.

    • Jess February 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      Do you even try to make sense when you talk? You say all men and women deserve respect but only when they earn it and that your daughter is going to stand up for herself and yet you’re in love with a song from a guy who thinks your daughter’s a bitch for trying to be an independent woman and wants her sucking his dick. If there’s nothing wrong with this song then what are you supposedly teaching your daughter to stand up for?

      And I doubt that Ladebug is taking the time to memorize every verse, as you say. There’s this amazing website called Google where you can look up lyrics. You should try it some time.

      You also said earlier “Do not take it to offence and you all may like.” And hey, by that logic if you ignore the fact that the slaughtered a few million people, the Nazis were probably pretty good guys. Maybe we’d like them too if we just didn’t take offense to that.

  16. shavell February 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

    I am far from inlove with the song thanx….. I just do not get y it matters it is a song I do not live my life by anything said in a song! my life is great and so is my daughters we do stand up for ourself greatly. My point is it is a song and it realy does not effect my life any different as a woman, so I think it is pretty dumb if other people let it effect their life at all. It may be cool for. Do you slam every song that has the word bitch in it ? or slang things then you must not like much music, because that is about every song. would you be slamming the song if it were refferring to man? no probably not you probably be like hell ya. I just think that this song doesnt matter!!!! thats all people will like it or they will not. get over it. Also smart one I think this song is alot different than what happened to jews they are not similar in any way. this is a song you do not like it shut it off!!!! I would not let my daughter listen to it simply because she is a little girl and doesnt talk like that or hear it. I do not sit and listen to the song, I just do not see y a song matters so much to you. now if they called your phone up and were like you are a bitch then take offence, but I am opretty sure the song was ment for someone particular as are most, or hey they knew people would like it and want to make money either way your name isnt in it so its dumb to care so much. n ow if they were killing people like the natzi that pretty fucked up thats offensive no matter who you are. calling me a bitch o damn!

    • Nina March 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm

      Do you know how the Nazis got others to be ok with and even share their opinions about the Jewish people? They used propoganda to dehumanize the Jews by making horrible claims against them. They would print it in newspapers and even used cartoons to depict the Jewish people as rodents or cockroachs. I realize that this is not the same things but it really could be. At this rate women are easily going to become dehumanized. A lot of music today is very disrespectful to women and VERY degrading. Maybe this singer was talking about one crazy women but it shouldn’t matter. It’s not ok to talk about someone like that. I really hope he didn’t have children with her because it is especially not ok to talk about someone’s mother like that.
      Our society is not one that makes each other feel good about themselves. Instead there is more focus on how to talk badly about each other and how to be negative in general.
      This song might not be about any of us who have heard this song or songs like it but why can you not see how it affects us as a society? This is a song where the sole purpose is to degrade this woman and women like her. Would you want people to think that you belong on your knees servicing some condescending jerk like the singer of this horrid song? Can you see how this song and songs like it might make it seem more acceptable to think that way and talk like that? Pop culture has a HUGE impact on what is deemed ‘acceptable’ and what is not. If someone started a smear campaign against flip-flops and there was enough ‘catchy’ songs written against them then you can bet the majority of people wouldn’t be seen wearing them. That is because people are easily influenced and they tend to agree with whatever is popular.
      You say if we don’t like it, don’t listen to it? Well it’s not that simple. I sure as hell don’t listen to garbage like this but does that mean I don’t still hear it? I really wish that was the case. I don’t listen to Lady Gaga and I do everything in my power to avoid hearing even one second of her ‘music’, but somehow I know way too many words from her song ‘Poker face’. I do think that the people here against the song are here for a bigger reason. I don’t think it’s just the song that have most of us upset, it’s the attitude in general of these songwriters and the message that they are conveying to the young and impressionable minds in this world. While we can shut off a song, we can’t as easily shut off society.
      We all have someone that we care about and I’m sure there are people who care about the woman this song was written about. Even if she were my worst enemy I could never defend a song filled with such a hateful message.If you like this song go ahead and listen to it, but I will point out that there are a lot of great bands around that have deep meaningful lyrics in their songs. Expand your minds.. evolve.

  17. Cirino February 24, 2012 at 1:41 am

    get off your period. this is the reason why he’s singing about woman acting like bitches, because you take shit WAY to seriously…

  18. Stan March 27, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I don’t like theory of a deadman but the song sure rings true. Oh wait, sorry, now you can overanalyze my use of the word ring in that last sentence…as well as deadman, if you wish.

    Fact is, males are lost in today’s generation. Women have all the power (sexual/mate selection, careers, education) and we are LOST. We have no purpose, no place. It’s natural some of us would react by trying to downgrade women. Others with the looks and outgoing charisma conquer women and assert whatever fragmented sense of purpose exists in the disintegrating collective male psyche.

    Me personally? I just wallow in self-loathing and half-assed pursuits until the inevitable termination of my utterly pointless and very lonely existence–because I don’t look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise and I don’t like doing shots of the bar and yapping about Prada bags and where is the best sushi place in town.

    • Josh March 29, 2012 at 8:43 am

      Stan, you are the one over analyzing this. Women still see a lot of discrimination all over the world. Two protesters in Egypt just took a state mandated virginity test.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/31/egyptian-female-protesters-virginity-test-_n_868997.html

      Try to imagine that for a second.

      I understand that you’re disenfranchised with everything that Walt Disney ever told you that love would be… that “being yourself” was enough, but that doesn’t make all women bitches!

      I don’t want to sound overly (and ironically “patronizing”), but no more self-loathing! Get thee to a gym, treat yourself to some nice clothes, and get the hell out there and wear a smile. Find a nice girl and never expose her to hateful crap like this song. Seriously, you owe that much to yourself

  19. Loki Stahlherz July 1, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    I love that song. It’s 100 percent true.THEY ALL ARE THE SAME.
    They drain you emotionally and financially and are never grateful.
    Their standards are too high(They wont accept aren’t perfect even though ,they won’t own up to mistakes (which I find extremely arrogant) And this song is being way too over-analyzed Typical woman over analyzing everything. Women simply think they have the last word in everything because they are selfish.

    Who ever wrote this blog needs to get the sand out of her vag.

    • Brenda July 28, 2012 at 7:52 am

      Ok Loki, not all women are the same. The bitches are all the same, the real feminine women are the same, etc. Yes, the ones offended by the song need to understand that the song was written in jest and making fun of a KIND of woman (not ALL women). And if you act like the woman that Loki is describing, you deserve to have a song like this written about you. And I will sing along….. Seriously, no woman who acts like a woman should act will get disrected by men. And if they do, then it’s because the man hasn’t been taught to treasure a woman. It’s a two way street, people. A man treasures and protects a woman and a woman honors her man. If both are doing what they are supposed to, there are no bitches and no offensive men. How hard is this to understand?!

      • shavell July 29, 2012 at 5:06 pm

        I totally agree not all women are the same. There are different sorts of women SOme are who the song is about, it should not offend anyone really because it is just a song no big deal! ANd no relationship is perfect. I am by far not a bitch , but I so can be if needed. people should not worry about what songs are saying and just worry about thier life who they are and how they live it.

  20. coby dick August 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    what a bitch, who the fuck cares? really do you have nothing better to do than piss about this song, i love theory of a deadman, fuck off BBBBBBIIIIITCCCCHHH!!!’

  21. so very true says November 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    i would certainly say most of them are today, especially the one’s that have the attitude problem and play hard to get. what losers.

  22. Tora January 15, 2013 at 7:41 am

    I think you think too hard. I think you have inserted abuse, insult, and symbolism where there wasn’t meant to be any. This is why I left third-wave feminism… instead of focusing on the very real challenges facing women in the US, they start searching for a slight in any direction. Hey, how about, here’s crazy idea, you start coming up with blog articles railing against the medical field for not pushing for higher maternal-child survival rates, access to medical prenatal care, for not pushing hard enough for gender-specific research and prevention? Or predatory lending practices towards single women and single mothers?

    Or, you could go on bitching about a song written about a divorce. ‘Cause, lets face it, no woman has ever demonized the other sex after a horrible breakup, with her girlfriends right there besides her nodding their heads and clucking along. But if a guy vents his pain and anger, well, clearly he should be locked away as a potential threat.

    • Zaewen January 18, 2013 at 6:59 pm

      So now which is it? Am I thinking too hard, or am I not thinking hard enough about Tora-Approved-Feminist-IssuesTM? Cause I’m pretty sure I’ve written about the topic or reproductive justice and the overmedicalization of maternity care and how that affect maternal and neonatal health. I’m also pretty sure that the attitudes that are at the root of those problems, and problems like the predatory lending practices you mention, stem from a belief that women are inferior, less than, stupid, unworthy of real attention or care, and mere animals compared to obviously far superior men. These are he exact same beliefs that are expressed in this song (which btw, not about a specific divorce seeing as a) the singer is happily married and b) he literally says “All girls are the same”). And, oddly enough, they are the same beliefs that are written in between the lines of your message: I’m thinking too much, feminists are petty and searching for slights, we cluck along like hens, men have it worse, etc.

  23. Mark January 20, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    i certainly do say so, especially with the attitude problem that they have today.

  24. Mark January 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    we also must remember that most of them are low life losers that had a very bad childhood, thanks to their rotten parents that they had to begin with.

  25. Russ April 5, 2013 at 1:16 am

    She happened to prove to be! Again and over!

  26. Russ April 5, 2013 at 1:23 am

    Just saying, yes to the original question. Better late than never! 🙂

  27. The Life Poster October 21, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    I agree with you about this song… but they aren’t saying anything about violence really. You are jumping to conclusions there. By ‘I thought she was a goner’ he is just meaning that he thought she was out of his life, other then that, I really agree.

  28. anon December 9, 2014 at 1:25 am

    Alright, let’s flip it. Let’s say it’s a song from a girl about how this one guy she had fun with in bed kept sniffing around despite her not liking him. He wants to get married and she wants to be free but he just can’t take a hint. She then makes a generalization about men only wanting servile wives. Are you still offended? I’ve heard plenty of songs from women who talk about men they’ve fucked and then want gone but he can’t take a hint. It’s nothing new or different or bad. It’s just the same crap everyone has been making.

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